Being Too Nice During Divorce Settlements: What’s the Harm?

While it is common for many divorcing couples to parts ways with anger, guilt, and hatred, there are also those who strive to end their marriage amicably. Apart from being more affordable than divorce court, separating amicably also takes the shortest amount of time in settling all related issues. This lessens the stress and allows both parties to work together to reach an agreement.

Amicable doesn’t mean being too nice.

If you and your spouse are considering an amicable divorce (usually through mediation), it is essential for both of you to let go of the anger and regret to secure a fair and successful settlement. Just keep in mind, however, that you shouldn’t be too sweet or friendly, as this move can sometimes work against your favor and compromise your future.

An amicable settlement can work if you and your spouse can talk without arguing and are willing to negotiate and work together. Considering each other’s feelings is also beneficial, but you don’t have to be too kind or generous. Nassau County divorce lawyers know that doing so can backfire, especially if it requires you to disown what is yours or put the other party’s interest first.

Don’t give away too much.

Being too nice also comes with the risk of giving away too much or failing to consider asset or property distribution carefully. If keeping the house, for example, means giving away too many liquid assets or cash, you need to take a step back and think twice. The same thing can also apply when letting your spouse keep other valuable assets, without considering how it might affect your future life.

Keeping the house seems like a harmless idea, especially if you intend to stay in it for many years or forever. Just do take note that doing so can be expensive, as it means paying the mortgage and maintenance. If you keep the house instead of liquid assets but then later realize that you can no longer afford it, you might end up with little cash that could have helped you in future financial troubles.

Too much can also mean too little.

divorce settlements

Giving too much can cost you a lot, as it can also mean accepting too little. If you, for instance, feel guilt over the divorce, making child and spousal support payments over the proposed amount might not seem like a big issue. That is until you experience financial problems like job loss or severe illness and therefore lose the ability to make payments.

The same thing also goes for being entitled to permanent alimony but not taking it, only to experience financial problems like a severe medical condition. Attempting to assuage your guilt or other negative feelings through money is never advisable, as you’ll eventually move on and get over them. The best thing that you can do is to get the full financial picture and accept what is rightfully yours.

Even if you have guilt over leaving the marriage, you cannot be too nice and accept whatever the other party demands. It is still best to think about how the settlement will affect your future as a single person or a single parent. Having a reliable divorce lawyer is essential, not just to evaluate your case but also to protect your rights and get what you deserve.